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Readings from
Why Me?
Help for Victims of Child Sexual Abuse
Other articles about
Child Molesters, Child Rapists, and Child Sexual Abuse
* * *
Readings from Dr. Lynn Daugherty's classic bestseller. . .
Why Me? Help for Victims of Child Sexual Abuse
(Even if they are adults now), 4th Edition
Stories from Victims of Child Sexual Abuse
When
something bad happens to you, it often helps to know you are not alone.
You feel better if you know that other people have had the same kinds of
problems.
Here are some experiences other victims of child sexual abuse
(molestation, rape or incest) have had (described in "PG" terms for this
website). Some boys or girls were victims
of brief incidents of sexual abuse. Other boys or girls were victims of
sexual abuse as part of a continuing relationship. Still others were
victims of incest. All of these stories are true. The names and some of
the details have been changed to protect the privacy of the victims.
All these people were victims of sexual abuse when they were children.
Was your experience like any of these? Was what happened to you like any of the things that happened to them?
Did you feel any of the same emotions? Did you think or do any of the
same things they did?
Brief Incidents
Brief incidents of child sexual abuse (molestation, rape or incest) can
take many forms. Some have great impact on the victim and others have
little effect. Many children, both boys and girls, are victimized in
these ways. Here are some of their stories.
Connie, age 33
I have always been terrified of hospitals, but I never knew why. Then
one day it came back to me. When I was 12, I had my tonsils out. I
remember a nurse came into my room one night after my parents had gone
home. I was half asleep because of medication. She started rubbing my
head, then my body under the sheet. She massaged my breasts, then my
thighs and pubic area . . . . I was scared and felt so helpless. I just
"froze" until she quit and went away. I have had this really emotional reaction
to hospitals ever since but had blocked out that whole incident.
Carlos, age 16
I was at the beach one day when I was about 12. I was all alone in the
changing room when this old man came in. He came over to me while I was
starting to put on my swimming trunks. He grabbed for me but I got away
and ran home. I don’t go back there alone anymore.
Tina, age 13
I was walking along the road and this guy stopped in a van. He offered
me a ride and I said, "No, I am almost home." Then he opened the door
and grabbed me by the arm and pulled me in. I was too scared to run. He
told me to shut up and sit there. We drove out into the hills and he
raped me . . . . He did it twice. He kept saying he knew I liked it. Then he
drove me back to town and let me out in the park. I walked home crying.
My mom kept asking me what was wrong until I told her. She told my dad
and he went wild. I was afraid he was going to hit me, but he kept
saying he was just mad at the guy.
They took me to the hospital for an examination. I don’t remember much.
Then we went to the police station. They were really nice, but they just
kept asking me the same questions over and over like they didn’t believe
me.
The worst part was going back to school. Everybody asked me dumb
questions and I felt like a freak. They all knew what had happened. They
looked at me weird. I just felt dirty. I’d be sitting there in class and
like a dream it would be happening again. I’d see the man and the van.
I’d just sit there shaking.
I got real upset when we had to go to the preliminary hearing. I
couldn’t sleep and then I threw up just before court. I’m so scared that
they will let the guy out.
Glenda, age 16
It was really weird. I had just gotten my driver’s license and we went
over to this older guy’s house. There were three of us girls. They knew
him, but I didn’t. He gave us some beer and some pot. We were having a
good time. Then he started joking around and trying to undress us. He
said I could take his Mustang out for a drive once he "got to know me." We were being silly and were mainly in our underwear then. He was being
real friendly, acting silly and tickling us.
He showed us his bedroom and he had a video camera by the bed. He wanted
us to get on the bed and do things with each other while he filmed it. I
wouldn’t do it though and I felt real weird and left.
They stayed, but the next day they said they hadn’t done anything. I
felt so dirty after that. Wow! If anybody knew what I had been doing
there I would have died. He said lots of girls had done that stuff for
him, but I don’t know. I’ve been so afraid the other girls would tell
somebody what we were doing.
Greg, age 20
I was twelve years old when they put me in the juvenile detention center
the first time. I had just been hanging around and the cops picked me up
for curfew violation. I spent the night there and most of the next day.
That night, after the guard had left, the other guy in my room started
hassling me. He was bigger but not a lot older, just tough. He wanted me
to masturbate him but I wouldn’t. Finally he backed me us against the
wall and said, "You’ve got three seconds, sucker! Go down or die!"
. . . . After I did
what he wanted, then he left me alone. I lay awake all night though,
scared to death of him.
Read more stories of boys and girls who were victims of child sexual
abuse (molestation, rape, and incest) in books by Dr. Lynn Daugherty.
Incest
Many boys or girls are sexually abused through incest. Some statistics
suggest that as many as one child in every 100 is the victim of incest.
Most don’t tell anyone about the abuse until they get older. Some never
tell.
Jackie’s story is typical of many girls who are sexually abused by their
fathers or stepfathers. She was abused by her stepfather for many years
before she told anyone. The abuse started gradually but became more
frequent and open as time went on. Her mother did little to stop the
abuse. Jackie finally reported it as a teenager. Then she was removed
from the home. Her stepfather was convicted of child sexual abuse and
placed on probation on the condition that he obtain psychological
treatment.
Jackie, age 18
My stepfather was the one who did it. He started when I was about six, I
guess. He would come in to tuck me in at night and sometimes just run
his hand over my body. It felt good and I didn’t think that was anything
wrong.
Later on Daddy started doing other things with his hands . . . . That didn’t
seem right but I was supposed to obey him. Then he started kissing me
and kissing me under the covers. I must have been ten by then.
I was frightened. I knew my mother would punish me if she found out and
I knew Daddy would be mad at me, too. I felt like it was my fault, but I
didn’t understand how. I didn’t want anyone to find out how bad I was.
I remember lying awake in the dark hoping he wouldn’t come. I told
myself I would jump up and run if he came, but I never did. I just lay
there and hoped he would go away soon. Then I would cry and finally go
to sleep. But then I would have nightmares about monsters.
One night my mother came in and saw him. She got real mad. He cried and
promised never to do it again. She never said anything to me, but I
always felt like she was mad at me too. We started to go to church then.
He went every night they had a service.
Nothing happened again until I was 12. The he started being real nice to
me again. By then I was doing a lot of the work around the house. My
mother was always tired. She just never seemed very happy. My stepfather
and I always had a good time together though. We would go to the grocery
store to pick up whatever we needed for dinner. It would be just me and
him. My brothers and sisters would stay at home. Sometimes he’d buy me
something special on those trips. He always took my part with my younger
brother and sisters. They knew they couldn’t mess with me when he was
around. It was pretty nice sometimes, the special way he treated me.
Then he started coming into my room again at night. I don’t think my
mother ever knew about it. He would cry sometimes and say he loved me.
He said they’d split up the family if anybody knew what was happening.
He said my mom would probably get real sick if she ever found out.
He didn’t come in very often. Just a couple of times a month maybe. I
started lying awake again waiting for him, hating it. I was so ashamed.
What if other people found out? My brothers and sisters said I was the
favorite. What if they knew what I had done?
I felt so rotten, like I was all alone and always would be. How could I
ever tell anybody about anything so awful? I thought about running away
or killing myself, but I was afraid to do either one. I wished someone
would stop him, but I knew I had to keep doing what he wanted or
terrible things would happen.
My mom even asked me once if he ever did "those things" to me again. I
couldn’t let her know, so I said no. If she had cared more, it seems
like she would have checked more though. I guess she just didn’t care as
long as I didn’t cause her any problems.
Then the trouble started when I wanted to go out with boys. He started
getting real mean about letting me leave the house alone. He would make
me turn down dates and, when I turned 15, he wouldn’t let me get a
driver’s license. He said it gave me too much freedom. He was always
asking who I was with, what I was doing and would get mad if boys called
me on the phone. Sometimes I saw him in the car following us when I did
go out.
He would do all sorts of nice things for me though. He gave me money any
time I wanted it and would buy me clothes if I wanted. I would get sick
about myself though. It was like I was selling myself to him for the
things I wanted to do. I couldn’t tell anybody then because I hadn’t
said anything before. They would just say I was a whore. Maybe I was. I
felt so rotten. My mother was mad at me a lot because she said he would
do anything I asked. I knew she’d be mad if she found out why.
Then he put me on restriction just because I came home late from the
movies. I wasn’t even with a boy, but he still got mad. He said I
couldn’t go anywhere for a month and then he slapped me and called me a
tramp. I was real scared and mad at him and mad at my mom.
The next day in school I kept crying and they took me to the counselor.
First I told her it was because my stepdad had slapped me, but then I
told her the truth. Then everything got to be a big mess. She called the
cops and they arrested him. He didn’t stay in jail long though.
Everybody is mad at me now. I’m living with my aunt and I’m not supposed
to see him anymore. I know what he did was wrong, but sometimes I still
feel like I am to blame. It is hard to shake the feeling that I caused
all these problems. I wonder if I will ever feel different.
To read more stories of boys and girls who were victims of incest and other types of child sexual abuse . . .
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Child Molestation Stories
Voices of Survivors
of Child Sexual Abuse
(Molestation, Rape, and Incest)
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Why Me? Help for Victims of Child Sexual Abuse)
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Why and How Sex Offenders Abuse: Child Molestation, Rape,
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